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After that incident I had with my bf where he, weirdly Ghosted/dissapeared from that big miscommunication we had back on his ''Grad day'' some time ago, he has called me from an unknown number a couple of times, and I only picked up once and he said ''hello''hello'' and I could clearly hear his voice, the thing is that this man had told me he was leaving back to his hometown in the states one month after he had graduated since he had to do some errands before living, but a couple of weeks ago I found out he was still here (Due to him calling me from an unknown number, I contacted the person who rents him the apartment, which by the way does not know me, and I acted Like I was looking for an apartment with the same characteristics as his floor,rooms etc, and she told me that ''a guy that studies medicine still lives there, and has been renting for a long time and that he has not left'' so I inmeddiately knew it was him).


And to make the story even weirder, 1st: his family members did not come and 2nd: my mom was talking with me the other days and had asked me, if my ex had graduated in the graduation ceremony of march and I said yeah ofcourse that was his grad day, and she told me that she had watched the whole ceremony on tv (in this country they televise the grads by universities) and she replied to me ''how weird'' and I said'' why? she said:'' I did not see him at all, while they were handing out the diplomas of the medical school section'' and I said what!!, that is really really weird, so now it stayed in my mind, if something bad happened to him and they did not allowed him to graduate for whatever reason. I mean he is still here and has not left. sketchy, what do you think about all of this?


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We speak very in depth about everything. We are very open.. I have literally told him everything about me, besides me having feelings for him.

When I first met him a year ago, there was a sudden attraction, and I was hooked.

He has told me, he takes awhile to develop feelings for someone. With his girlfriend, they were also best friends before they started dating. She told him first that she liked him, and it took him a good six months to develop feelings for her back.

Him and his girlfriend have been dating for three years now.. they have never lived with each other. He is 24, and she is 29. She rents with friends, and he lives with his mother still. But this year they are moving out and renting, he told me she is 'pushing' it more then him, but he feels it's the 'right thing to do', and his mothers lease is up at their house, so he has to move out before then, which is August.

Anyway, everyone at work suspects he has feelings for me, by the way we are around each other, he gets all close and a little touchy, obviously not overly touchy cause that would be weird at work. We talk sexually a lot, we are very open, and speak about whatever comes to mind. We are such dorks together, we make each other laugh constantly. He said the other day, that I'm his only comfort at work, and that our shifts together are his favourite. We speak a lot about valuing each other, and how much we mean to one another. It's taken a lot for him to feel 'close' and 'trusting' to someone so fast with how he is.

I just don't know what to do, I want to tell him about my feelings, but I'm scared. I know he wouldn't disown me or anything, I just don't want all our silly jokes and topics of conversations to change. I mean, we speak everyday. That to me, is huge?! I couldn't possibly lose someone that I'm so close too.

Also, his girlfriend had no idea I existed until recently. How can someone be so close to someone and not tell their girlfriend? Who talks to someone every day and not mention it to their girlfriend? I told him I was a little shocked and almost offended she didn't know who I was.. His excuse was 'he doesn't talk about work to her', she I said, 'I am not work related, I am your friend'. Anyway, we worked it out. 

So, this guy, doesn't drive (cause of his anxiety), works in a dead end job like me, (not knowing what to do with life), hates himself, literally self loathes himself, and can't see why someone would ever find him attractive.

There is so much more to write, but I wont. I just need advice...

Do I tell him, or leave it? I don't want a 'What If...', but what if he doesn't feel that way and I make an ass of myself. I get very anxious thinking of telling him... I have been meaning to tell him for months how I feel, but I keep chickening out.. I don't want to be the 'other girl'...


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So everything was going amazing. Until recently, she's been acting cold/distant. My birthday is tomorrow, and after class last Wednesday she texted me saying that she wants to do something for me for my birthday (which would be tomorrow). I thought it was cool and told her I'd love to do something with her. But the next day (last Thursday) is when she started acting weird. She came over and was acting very quiet. I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. Then after a while she finally started acting normal. I'm not sure why, but I feel it may have some correlation with this. I told her, Friday a bunch of my friends and I were going to drink a little at my house and go out for my birthday. I told her she can come if she wants too, but i didn't know if there was a point for it too since she's only 20 (which may have sounded like I didn't want her there, but wasn't how I meant it). She didn't seem to thrilled and said she'd text me and let me know, which she never did (unlike her). So later that evening, I snapchatted her twice, and she never responded. Which was also not like her. Then, Saturday night comes around and she texted me asking a question, I responded and asked her a question, and she never replied. Not like her again. 


So I saw her today in class, she said hi and asked me how my weekend was and I asked her how hers was. Then when class ended, sometimes we walk to my car and I drive her to her car just so we can talk more. She waited for me (teacher was doing attendance and she got let out early) and then I said what's up and she said she didn't know what to talk about and we went our separate ways. 


So four things I think could be the reason to this:


1. She's actually mad at me for the way I acted about my invitation to going out Friday and making it seem like I didn't want to be with her.


2. She may think I am talking to other girls since I didn't want her there and I was texting my mom in class and she may have thought it was another girl (seeing as I never text her really


3. She's talking to another guy and is losing interest in me. I did notice that she's been on her phone more.


4. I'm just overthinking things, maybe she is, and should stop worrying about it.


I see her again Wednesday. Tomorrow's my birthday and I'm just hoping to hear from her and I want to see her of course. We are still going out this Saturday for Halloween parties. She just seems so distant out of the blue and I don't know what to do. I do not want to ask her again because I feel like that makes me look in confident since I asked her Thursday. What would you do? What do you think is going on?


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I have been having a snapchat account for a while now, but I really don't use it. Yesterday, my girlfriend and I were playing around with it on my phone. She went through my friends list (all 7 people) and saw that I had an x girlfriend still on it. I was genuinely unaware that she was there. I probably added my x on it when were were dating and just didn't think about taking her off. 


Please help! She is furious and ending the relationship is actually being discussed. She passionately believes that I added the x girlfriend since we've met and have been communicating with her through it. She believes that because she says that I showed her who was on my friends list and she wasn't there before. I honestly don't remember that, but I do know that we did play around on snapchat before. Is there any way to be able to tell when someone was added as a friend on snapchat? Or any other way that you guys could think of to be able to show her that she's been there all along and it just got overlooked? Anything?



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Whenever I’m in positive vibes, he seems to my good vibe away ( they call this an ”emotional vampire”) once he comes and picks me up, whenever I get in his car uuugh, he always says something that bothers me, example:”your breath smells like mint,I don’t like mint, or your perfume is too strong”, instead of greating me nicely, boom he says something that’s not nice. Believe me I rather have good breath, than not a stinky one and my scent is not overpowering, it’s just a clean cologne.


3-) He thinks women should be submissive to get what they want from there partner!, and whenever I was quiet he said '' You see,it's so nice that you are quiet like that. its relaxing.


4-) Whenever he can, he points out something negative ( He did not do it in a mean or shouting way by any means) but he said:''your butt, you need to do squats to tone it, your too skinny its not healthy, you need to gain at least 5 pounds, I tell him ”I love myself like this” if you don’t like it, then I’m sorry, and all he says is, ”well your going to stay alone” your too skinny, honestly even he was worried, I like how I look, plus I'm not scary skinny.


5-) This one is the one that I notice the most, when I am looking pretty, have my hair down flowing, cutely dressed, well put,etc, he will say something negative, ”what happened to your hair, it looks thin, whats wrong’, your butt is sagging you need to tone it up, Not even a compliment, Mind you none of these are true to my knowledge, my hair is medium thickness, and my butt, is a little smaller after I lost weight, but not sagging, just Normal.


6-) I feel, as if Everything has to be on his terms, I feel ackward having to communicate with him or even have a serious talk to him, these 3 years I have just felt uncomfortable, that’s how I see it, can you imagine we only see each other once a week, or once every 2 weeks.We don't even manage to see each other on the weekends Like normal couples do!. I get he studies Medicine and its HARD, but If you really want someone you make more time for them!!!!!


Anyways, I feel drained, mentally and emotionally by his ways. its Like if I felt empty. I Need more from him, which I AM not GETTING.


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