I'm actually quite shy, although open to my friends. When with people I know well, I joke alot and seem quite different. When alone I usually keep my lips pressed together and I don't talk much except after the awkward "how are you doing" from a teacher, which I respond with either "uh... good," or "uh... okay?" I am also self-conscious, which may be why I am shy. I just try to imagine different situations, and although it could go well, it is more likely to end up awkward. Yes, I use the word awkward a lot, just because that is how I would describe it.
Anyways we both attend orchestra, I play the Violin and she plays the Cello. Last year in 7th grade (Around 4 months ago) there was an orchestra concert at our school. I wore a white collared shirt and very dark blue/gray pants. To this outfit she commented: "really? jeans?" This might not be strane, but her little brother (who also plays the cello) was wearing much lighter colored pants and I didn't hear a comment on that. In addition, an 8th girl was actually wearing jeans and... no comment. This means that she was not actually making fun of what aI was wearing, but simply using it as an excuse to talk to me, not actually insult me. This is similar to the light-hearted teasing from when we were younger. She also criticizes
my violin playing, and only me, which is peculiar because I am one of the better violin players in the orchestra.
However I don't have her phone number and I don't even have a phone. Instead I have an Ipod which can text but only using the app Imessage, but it could be awkward to ask for her number.
I sometimes imagine me telling her about my feelings, but I am not sure how. I daren't ask her friends because they might tell her, and if she doesn't like me back... then it could be awkward.
I imagine it at another orchestra concert, where if there is some joking or teasing, I could tease back and give a small playful shove if it is alright. This would break the physical touch barrier, and could open up new doors. If she seems to be okay, I would stop walking and depending on her reaction, we could both lean in and kiss.
Then again, maybe I should wait until High School.
Recently we have been talking less, but that might be because we are in different morning classes or I am sending the signal that I don't like her because of how shy I am.
But does she like me?
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