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Do people really understand what commitment is in a relationship or marriage? I wondered sometimes if   I understood.  I’ve been married before and I remember most of words that were said by the Officiate who married us. Marriage vows: I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live. How can I understand what true commitment is in a relationship if I wasn’t exposed to it. Nobody explained it to me and I didn’t grow up in a home where my parents stayed together.


 As a child, my parents separated, so my mother was a single parent. My father was an alcoholic.  I guess my mother decided that she wasn’t going to stay in a marriage with an alcoholic. I wonder if she offered to help and support him so he wouldn’t drink anymore. Isn’t that what commitment is?   Maybe, if she stood by him and helped him change. Is that the definition of commitment?


My definition of commitment:


Having one single long term sexual partner.


Being with a person who you can communicate your true feelings and emotions.


Being with someone you are comfortable with and you can be yourself.


Someone who would stand by you in sickness, health and wealth and poverty.


A person who would support you in whatever you decide to do and that support would be returned.


But, to be totally committed, don’t you have to be in love with each other? What is love then? Can you be in love and still break your commitment to each other? After doing some research, I read that commitment is a promise. Two people have to verbally communicate to each other what that promise is toward the commitment. For instance, I promise that you will be my one and only sexual partner.”


Conclusion: Because, everyone has a different view of what commitment is. And, promises can be broken. Maybe, if people understood commitment, they would think twice about getting into a relationship or marriage.  I understand commitment better now, I just wish I understood it when I was married.  









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Guest Sunday, 18 February 2018


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